What is Gaslighting and how to deal with it?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser makes the victim question their own sanity, perception of reality, or memories. The term comes from the 1938 play Gas Light, in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane by dimming the lights in their home and then denying that he did it.

Gaslighters often use a variety of tactics to achieve their goal, such as:

Denying reality. The gaslighter may deny things that happened, or they may insist that the victim is misremembering events.

Trivializing the victim's feelings. The gaslighter may tell the victim that their feelings are not valid, or they may make light of their concerns.

Shifting blame. The gaslighter may blame the victim for their own problems, or they may make them feel guilty for being upset.

Isolating the victim. The gaslighter may try to isolate the victim from their friends and family, so that they have no one to turn to for support.

Making the victim feel crazy. The gaslighter may make the victim feel like they are going crazy, by constantly questioning their sanity.

Gaslighting can be a very damaging form of abuse, and it can have a lasting impact on the victim's mental health. If you think you are being gaslighted, it is important to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.

Here are some tips for dealing with gaslighting:

Trust your gut. If you feel like something is wrong, it probably is. Don't let the gaslighter make you doubt yourself.

Document the abuse. Keep a record of the gaslighting incidents, including the date, time, and what was said. This will help you to remember what happened and to build a case against the gaslighter.

Talk to someone you trust. Talk to a friend, family member, or therapist about what is happening. They can offer support and help you to develop a plan to deal with the gaslighter.

Set boundaries. Let the gaslighter know that you will not tolerate their behavior. This may mean setting limits on your contact with them, or it may mean ending the relationship altogether.

Get help. If you are being gaslighted, it is important to seek help from a professional. A therapist can help you to understand what is happening and to develop coping strategies.

Gaslighting is a serious form of abuse, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are people who can help you.